2 More Down the Drain

This week, my self-confidence as a role model for Black men took yet another hit. Two former students of mine were arrested for a laundry list of affronts to society, and here they are, summarized for brevity.

• Genius 1 and Genius 2 decided to rob a credit union. Apparently they were manifesting a horrible interpretation of the phrase "run on the money."
• Genius 1 and Genius 2 fled from the scene without money but with cops on their tails.
• Genius 1 wrecked the car, so both Geniuses--or Genii, maybe--had to flee from the cops on foot.
• Genius 1 was discovered hiding under a car. So much for kujichagulia.
• Genius 2 fled into a home and wielded? brandished? waved with frenzied intensity? his knife at the home owner. Somewhere in there Genius 2 decided to flee elsewhere.
• Genius 2 entered another home, the humble domicile of a 79 year-old woman. Somewhere in there she dies of a heart attack, and somewhere in there Genius 2 flees that house as well.
• Genius 2 was apprehended before he could hurt himself or anyone else.

Good thing I'm a positive role model. With mentoring like this don't let me talk someone down from a ledge.

Predictably, as these were two brothers clearly breaking the law (cake with thick icing) with an elderly White woman dying in the process (sprinkles and cherries on the cake) the system has easily characterized them as animals, hoods, monsters, thugs--and why not? I mean, how would you feel if your mom was scared to death--literally--by a home invasion instigated by a brother with locs? Can you say "screwed?" Listen to me as I say it: SCREWED!

And no, Jackson or Sharpton won't touch anything this radioactive.

And these weren't the only two former students who drove me to introspection and whiskey after stoop-asst exploits of Stupidity on Ice. To wit: one is in prison for a long time, kidnapping and robbery; one hung himself in jail--he once was one of the school's tough guys; one suffocated his girlfriend and tossed her body in a trash bin; one, never a fan of context clues, shot and killed himself with his own gun--he didn't know it was loaded; one went down after DEA stormed Nana's house and confiscated soon-to-be-trafficked cocaine; one was driving a car-jacked auto, fled the police, rolled the vehicle, almost killing his passengers--what are friends for?--tapped into that spidey sense and hid from the cops, only to turn himself in once he realized his unconscious co-conspirator was still in the vehicle; one shot his girlfriend in the heart--ironically enough, the fake platinum bling she was wearing blocked the bullet and saved her life; one is doing time for vehicular homicide--running into a pedestrian in a car-jacked auto, all the while wearing his police tether on his ankle.

The rest is a lengthy collage of "typical" wanna-be tough guys: assault, drug possession, home invasion, tresspassing, weapons to school, yada yada yada.

Did I tell you I teach in the inner city? Did I tell you that my school is a math/science magnet school, with AP and IB courses? Oh, the irony!

Don't you just love teaching in the inner city?

"The Lord is my shepherd..." If this weren't the case I'd take this personally. If this weren't the case I'd relapse into my profanity-rich yesteryears and rant, "What the eff were the two mofo dumb donkeys n-words think they were doing? Eff these effin dumb donkey mofo n-words!"

But I'm a changed man. I now simply say: "Dang! What a waste of time! Two more down the drain!"